TIme to get posting again

Ok I know this is a recurring theme...starting blogs off with "oh wow I've been slacking....".  Oh well, like I said the reason I started this blog was for myself, because it was therapeutic to share.  Not because it was an obligation.  Anyways I have about a million health updates, and some exciting information that motivated be to get back at this.

So where do I start?  This morning I'm feeling pretty awesome.  I have such an awesome team around me and I feel so supported. I feel like a lot of people really have my back right now (you know who you are), and that is a good feeling to have in my situation.  It hasn't always been that way, for the longest time I thought I was on my own to fight this disease but I've learned to just face my fear of reaching out to people.  I've learned that its brave to be vulnerable, and people really do want to help when they know someone is in need.  I used to just put on the brave face and face it alone.

Health wise I'm still hanging in there.  My spine may have loosened up but I'm definitely not out of the woods yet.  Whenever my guts flare the back pain gets so much worse.  I've still got a lot of physio and rehab ahead of me to get my body back, but I look forward to the opportunity to get better. My gut symptoms are probably at about a 2:1 good:bad ratio right now, 1 bad day for every 2 good days.  Funny thing is I'm better at the bad days then the good ones.  On a bad day I know exactly how to medicate and treat myself, on the good days I try to take on the entire world and bite off more than I can chew. Then I end up forgetting to eat or medicate and I burn myself out again.  There is definitely a balance to be found.  I do still think its important to "make hay when the sun shines" so to speak, but my progress needs to be sustainable.  I need to start being more realistic on my good days, and not forget of what it is that got me feeling well in the first place.

So there's the how I've been feeling update.  As far as what I've been up to the last couple of weeks, I had to extend my leave of absence from work because I still wasn't strong enough to go back until just this past week.  My boss has a friend with crohns and he knows how brutal it is, so he is very understanding.  He is letting me come back to work just 2 hours per week which I am so thankful for.  Obviously that is basically a non-existent income, but thats not what I do it for.  I like teaching fitness classes because of the satisfaction I get from sharing my passion with others.  Crohns may have taken away my ability to train myself right now, but it will never stop me from being involved in something I love.

 I'm taking an online Ed Psych class right now.  Its pretty easy, but very fast-paced which I am not used to.  The midterm definitely definitely caught me by surprise, not being used to a course condensed into such a short time frame.  I think it's good for me to keep a focus on something consistent right now though.

I've got a bunch of other stuff to update you guys on, but the sun is shining and I need to get outside!  Speaking of which, here is a shot of Lauren and I at Jade lake last weekend :) 

Stuck in treatments all day

Decompression treatment.  One belt around the hips, one around the rip cage, and they pull apart!  Sounds fun right?  It's actually not so bad.  I've got these 2x a day for the whole week, it's definitely helping so far.  My back isn't quite as stiff, and my leg's don't ache anymore.  I'm hoping to be able to do some very light exercise by the end of the week. So that was my afternoon, this was my morning:

Iron infusion.  My intestines are so far gone I'm not absorbing iron anymore, even with supplementation, juicing, etc.  It's more effective to get it through IV for me, so I've been going once a week.  Today was my 3rd of 4 infusions.  If my levels get back up to normal it should definitely help my energy.  The treatments are lengthy, sometimes up to 4 hours.  I usually nap, but today I had my friend Britt come for a visit and bring me lunch haha.  The hospital sandwiches aren't exactly top notch, even if I ate gluten.  My nurse was also my friend's mom so I had a good morning catching up with nice people. 

So even though I've been hooked up to machines all day, I've had a pretty good day.  My energy is coming back, as well as my appetite, and I'm not in quite as much pain.  Anyways that's all I feel like blogging for now!

Back in the city already

Not feeling spectacular this morning.  My guts are upset and its one of those days that I need to stay near a washroom for the first few hours after waking up.  Slept decent last night.

On a positive note my body pain is a little better.  I haven't blogged in a few days so I guess I'll get you caught up.  Since I've last posted my bulged disc has been causing serious pain.  I don't know all the proper anatomical terms, but in "normal people words" what is happening is two of my vertebrae are jamming together and pinching nerves which can cause referral pain in other parts of the body.  I have a L5/S1 protrusion and something going on in L4 too I believe.  Anyways for example I've always had issues in my right big toe.  Sometimes it flares up for no reason like turf toe and becomes weak and stiff. Turns out it was connected to my back the whole time.  Over the last few weeks everything from my waist down gradually tightened up, hamstrings, then calves, it was kind of weird because I have not been training or anything.  Then the outsides of my knees (fibular head more specifically) started hurting.  It made sense because of the tension in my calves, hamstrings, and glutes.  IT bands were steel cables as you could imagine.  I thought most of this was arthritis from my crohn's, which I also have, but now I'm thinking its mostly coming from the spine. (Why I have the disk bulge in the first place I have no idea).

 I spent the last few days at home, hoping to get outside a little bit but honestly ended up spending about 90% of my time on the couch.  I guess my sciatic nerve is being pinched, that's the big one that goes all the way down your leg.  Friday was so bad I lost function of my left hamstring.  It was no longer just painful in certain ranges of motion, but just constantly shooting into my legs.  I couldn't bend or straighten my left leg and the tops of my feet were totally numb.  I finally pulled the trigger and called my physio clinic to start some decompression treatments.  It's pretty hardcore, 2x a day for the whole week.  Kind of a bummer because I was wanting to hang out at home or another week, but I can't do anything with a screwed-up back anyways.  Lauren is still at training camp for a couple more days, and I have this week off from work.  I'm so bored!  I have lots of health/personal stuff to work on I guess, practicing deep breathing and doing physio exercises just isn't all that thrilling. 

I'm sure looking forward to getting my mobility back.  Being home out in the country got me excited for summer.  I'm looking forward to spending time with the family, fishing by the river, hanging out with Penny (our dog) and all of that stuff.  Here is a couple pics from home:

My boat just begging to be taken out! As soon as my back is better I'll clean her up.

And Penny:

 

I miss track

And I'm glad.  It was scary when I didn't miss it.

I miss the "challenge accepted" feeling that I'm immediately instilled with every time I look at a crossbar.  I miss bus trips, I even miss hotels.  I miss having my weight workout to look forward to doing.

I miss writing my workouts, assessing my progress, and tinkering with the programming.  I guess that's kind of what I'm doing with crohn's now, not as fun as pole vault that's for sure.

I miss being sore.  I miss trying to find ways to alleviate the soreness.  I miss making pre and post-workout concoctions to support my recovery.  I miss making playlists specifically for the gym.

I miss having a designated window to let out some aggression and work out some stress, then being able to let go of it for the rest of the day.  

I miss just moving around and being a monkey.  I wanna climb, do flips, and walk around on my hands.  I miss fooling around at the gymnastics room with teammates, trying to one-up each other constantly.

I also miss practicing what I preach!  I don't like being the 150lb weightlifting coach, or the fitness instructor that gets out of breath just by demonstrating the exercises.  Its frickin embarrassing. 

Even when I was lifting weights while I was sick, every time I did a workout, whether it was good or bad, I could walk out of the gym having accomplished something that day. Even if it was an easy workout, or if I had to cut it short, I still had something tangible, I still did something for myself that day and felt that sense of pride.  I can tell you I went to the gym sick as a dog on many occasions, but never ONCE regretted it afterward.  The endorphin rush, increased appetite, and sense of accomplishment all made up for the nausea and cold sweats I experienced during the workouts themselves.  

Track seems so easy now.  So simple, to trivial, so secondary.  I may have grown up too fast and become rather hardened for my age thanks to my disease, but its certainly given me perspective.  I know for a fact pole vault will be different when I return.  After what I've been through, how could I possibly stress out over getting a big stick and trying to fling myself over a bar?

Back at it

Time to blog again!  I could make a bunch of excuses of why I haven't been keeping up with it, but I don't really have any.  I'm no more busy lately than usual, just have had different priorities I suppose.  I need to remind myself the motivating effect that writing has over time when I stick with it though.

 I always find it hard to start blogging because it feels like I have too much to say, and it seems like too much effort to articulate all the information and present it the way I want.  I'm going to start small for now.

My health has definitely been suffering again, mostly body pain now.  Although my gut symptoms aren't horrible, my CRP is back up to 65.  The systemic inflammation is just manifesting itself as arthritis now instead of as GI symptoms.  It's bad too.  At any given time (not just in the morning) I can barely touch my toes anymore.  My knees are locked up and my spine is like a 2x4.  My right ankle is randomly swelling up also and I can't put weight on it for more than an hour.  I've got thoracic outlet syndrome in my left shoulder which is also very limiting.  I have a narrowed disk space in my low back giving me nerve pain down my legs.  So yeah, that's got me a little bummed out.

The good news?  Some time off!  I know some of you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking "Time off from what?"  I realize I didn't have a particularly busy life to begin with, but I've booked 2 weeks off entirely from work, and with school done for the term I can completely relax and focus on healing. My plan is to go home for a while, almost for a retreat of sorts just to gather myself and really prioritize healing.   This week's focus will be on using my juicer more regularly, and stress reduction techniques. 

I'm so thankful for my friends and family that have been so supportive on this journey so far.  I know its not just hard on me. From covering shifts for me at work, to helping me around the house when I'm too sore to even unload the dishes, to just being there to talk to, everyone has had my back and I feel so lucky.

I'll end with a photo from the Sabbath concert Dad and I went to on Friday!

"Rise up, resist, and be the master of your fate, 

don't look back, live for today

tomorrow is too late."

Back in the game!

Alright so after a couple weeks of "maintenance" while I got my shit together, I'm back on the health train I guess.

Today's will be a quick blog, because I have yoga soon and by the time I get home it will be after 9.  Part of my new routine includes no screens after 9pm.  My routine is the following:

- No more food after 8pm.  I'm a night time eater but it screws up my sleep and makes me feel crappy in the morning.

- 9pm I take some melatonin, 5-htp, and GABA.  These are all sleep supplements.

- From 9-10pm I'm free to stretch, put the dishes away, read, have some tea, take a bath, etc.  Just no screens, and trying to refrain from "doing" or having a busy mind.

- I'm making sure to always be out of bed by 8pm, even on weekends or day's I don't have anything going on in the morning.  Having a consistent wake time is the most important way to get your sleep schedule on track.  For example, even if you are out late, its better to get up at your regular time the next day, and just make up for the sleep debt by going to bed earlier.

- I'm allowing myself to nap, but trying not to after 4pm.

- I also downloaded a 15-minute guided imagery MP3 for people with Inflammatory Bowel Disease that I'm finding quite relaxing before bed.

And that's it!  Should take a while to become habit but I'll keep you guys updated.

Introduction

Hey guys,

First of all, here is my inspiration for the URL :P

As promised I'm continuing to blog.  After doing it for a month I feel like I really just got started, I have so much more to learn, and share.  I've chilled out a little bit with the health stuff the last week or so.  I'm not letting myself go by any means, but I've had some wine, coffee, eaten out once or twice, and haven't been real vigilant with my supplements.  I ran out of a few of them, as well as some grocery staples so I'm just slowing down a little while I restock on everything. 

I've had a million random thoughts I could blog about, recipes I could share, etc, but I think I'll just start with where my health is at. I'm definitely feeling confident and motivated, but my blood tests still suck, and my body is a wreck.  Gut issues continue to improve but its the back and other joint issues giving me the most trouble.  I'm currently dealing with a bulged disk, sacroiliitis, thoracic outlet syndrome, and general stiffness in all my joints from the crohn's.  I've been sleeping on my bedroom floor because it doesn't seem to stiffen me up as bad as my soft bed.  I feel like an old man every morning and am seriously lacking mobility. 

I do have a concrete plan though, starting in April I have a bunch of physio, massage, and acupuncture booked, and I've also committed to a yoga practice 4x a week.  I'm also going so seriously up my vitamin D and magnesium dosages.  I've got many other plans and ideas in the pipeline. 

That's all for now!