Life with an ostomy.

It's really important to me that I share my surgery experience, because I remember being too scared to reach out, and just assuming the worst. I thought I would be painfully self conscious and never be able to do my favorite activities again.  I remember being so scared, envisioning life with the bag being miserable, and I'm specifically writing this post to say that is not the case at all....

 We fear what we don't understand. I made the huge mistake of just fearing the surgery without asking the questions I was scared to hear the answer to.  I was offered to be put in touch with ostomates, was told how life with the bag wasn't all that bad, but I was stubborn and wouldn't listen.   I may be fortunate enough to be re attached this year, but at this point I know I could be perfectly happy even if I had to live with this bag for the rest of my life.  I can wake up and do whatever I want now, no longer needing to be within 10ft of a washroom for my entire day. The bathroom urgency, and more importantly the stress that came along with it, is completely gone!

I'm not going to lie, the operation and 4-8 weeks following it were total hell. If you followed my blog around that time (view a post here ), you saw what a tough experience it was. That being said, once the complications subsided and the abscesses drained, I felt awesome.

Is having an appliance as good as before my flare? Obviously not, but it's pretty damn close.  Besides maintenance being annoying, it really doesn't hinder my life in any way shape or form, especially thanks to my stealth belt.  It holds the pouch horizontally rather that vertical, and supports it tight against my body so it doesn't flop around.  I wear it all day every day because it hides the pouch under shirts and makes jeans much more wearable.

Here are my stud brother's and I at a wedding.  See, can't tell I'm wearing a bag, and dress clothes are typically the most revealing:

I've managed to go mountain biking, pole vaulting, swimming, lift weights, and exercise freely.  I try to keep the pouch as empty as possible, as it can jiggle around and gets tight when the bag is full.  I can't say it has been without challenges.  I've had to learn to keep extra supplies on hand in case of leaks or emergencies, and do flange changes on the fly.  My stoma has popped out of the flange diving into the river, crashing my bike, and I had a leak at work one time, but one of my awesome co workers covered for me.  One time I had a leak while biking into downtown Kelowna and had to make a coffee shop pit stop.  This is going to sound weird, but there's something extremely liberating about walking into a Starbucks with your t shirt covered in poop and not being even the slightest bit embarrassed.  I've been through so many humiliating experiences with crohns that nothing phases me anymore. I've become very stoic in that sense I guess.  Like I said, it feels liberating to have that sort of "no fucks given", unashamed demeanor towards this disease that used to make me feel so self conscious.

Ostomy change at the dirt jumps, who needs a colon anyway?

Starbucks pit stop.  Minor bump in the road, still had an awesome day!

Learning was frustrating, but you learn to change supplies on the fly.  Sometimes the stoma makes farting noises, which two years ago I'd assume would just embarrass me, but I don't care and neither does anyone around me.  Those who matter don't mind right?

Although I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to get re-attached, I'm really glad I had this experience of having an ostomy.  Crohn's has been a wonderful teacher of life lessons.  I never thought I could be happy as a non-athlete, but it taught me that I can.  I used to foolishly think that having an ostomy would be the end of the world, yet with my intestine poking out of my belly I've had one of the best summer's of my life.  It's a very satisfying feeling.  

A few sample meals with inevitable side rants

Ok, so I keep getting more and more questions from fellow chronies about what I eat.  Rather than procrastinating to writing the perfect blog, I've just grabbed a bunch of food pictures from my iphoto library.  Yes, I hate to admit, I'm that annoying guy that always needs to pull out his phone to take a picture of his meal. 

But first I want to start out by saying that last night I had a wicked case of the munchies, made a poor decision and hammered back a box of 20 timbits.  The reason I chose to share this is to say that I am not perfect!  I have my moments of weakness just like everyone else.  Being a trainer and having all the right knowledge doesn't make me superhuman.  I'm prone to stress eating, and I love shitty, terrible chemical laden foods just as much as you do.  The accountability thing really works though, just the act of sharing that already makes me not want to do it again!  Be honest with yourself, theres always a clean slate available.

Having said that, I'm on top of my game about 80% of the time, and I've been cleaning up the junk diet consistently ever since my initial post-surgery binge.

Upon rising, I usually have a glass of water with 1tsp of sea salt.  This is great for thyroid health, and now that I'm missing my large intestine I can always use the extra sodium.

Side rant-You don't need to have a malabsorbtion syndrome to enjoy your salt!  Real salt is good for you, table salt is not.  Just like saturated fat, studies showing high sodium diets to be harmful were done on junk diets, so its more correlation that causation.  Regular table salt is processed with heat which kills all the trace minerals that make it so healthy.  The flowing agents added to make it pour so nicely can also be carcinogenic.  Stick to sea or pink himalayan, and use it to enhance the flavor of your foods.  It sure seems ironic to me how someone could deprive themselves of salt at breakfast and then dump a bunch of ketchup on their eggs.

With the salt water I'll take any pills that need to be taken on an empty stomach, currently thats just a couple of probiotics.

30-60 minutes later I'll have my "breakfast" of bulletproof coffee.  You've probably heard of it by now,  I'll admit it is super trendy these days.  Call it a health fad, but its awesome.  For those who aren't familiar, its 2 cups of high quality coffee blended with grass fed butter and MCT oil.  Do NOT attempt to just stir it, or you will be terribly disappointed.  And before dismissing it as "not a balanced breakfast"  hang on a second.  Think of it as a serving of healthy fats, but caffeinated.  You get the antioxidant benefits of the coffee, instant energy from the mct oil, and fat soluble vitamins as well as CLA from the butter.  Not to mention it tastes like the best latte you've ever had. I always do 2 tablespoons MCT oil (worked up to this, too much at once causes diarrhrea) , and 1-2 tablespoons butter.  The amount of butter just depends on hunger.  My favorite thing about it is the mental energy and clarity, with no crash.  You don't even think about food for 3-4 hours afterwards.  I know personally, if I start my day with a bowl of oatmeal crisp, first of all I want to eat the entire box, and even if I manage just one bowl, I'm fucking starving an hour later.

 With the coffee I'll take my vitamin A and D, and whatever else I'm currently on that is to be taken with food.

Side rant- Your entire diet needs to be balanced, not individual meals.  There are benefits to altering macronutrient ratios of a meal depending on its time and application.  For example, filling up on fat and avoiding carbs in the morning results in steady blood sugar and much more energy, where as post workout you want carbs to refuel, but zero fat because it will slow down the absorption/assimilation of other nutrients. 

In the afternoon I usually have a smoothie consisting of
-1 cup frozen fruit (my favorites are blueberry, mango, cherry, and seabuckthorn berry) ,
-coconut water and almond milk until its "enough" liquid for 1 serving.
-a couple "glugs" of avocado oil or olive oil
-another "glug" of MCT oil
-1tsp matcha green tea powder
-20-30 grams worth of protein from any combination of whey, hemp, or collagen protein powder
-other amino acids if I'm taking any at the time
-1/2 tsp real vanilla powder
-sometimes a TBSP of hemp hearts
- Sometimes a cup of frozen steamed kale or spinach, but not gonna lie I've been slacking on the greens lately

Beyond the coffee and the smoothie being staples my meals vary day to day, here are a few samples:

Chili made with bison, sweet potato, quinoa, celery, mushroom, bone broth, tomato sauce.  (no beans)

Cucumber slices and guacamole.  (Easy and portable).

 Homemade chocolates.  Raw cacao powder (super healthy, look it up), raw cacao butter, and a bit of maple syrup, thats it.  For a filling (optional) I used homemade macadamia butter.

 Real coffee.  Not ground 2 years ago and stored in a plastic disk.

 Macadamia butter mentioned previously.  Dump macadamias in blender, blend, done.

 BP coffee, boiled egg, leftover burger patty with guac.

 Steamed salmon with lemon and dill, 2 eggs.  15 minute supper. 

 Picnic lunch for the beach.  Spinach salad with chicken and hemp hearts, apple slices to dunk in almond butter, bananas and grapes.

 Lamb roast on top of onions and lemongrass before adding coconut milk and tomato paste.

 Zucchini, peppers, mushrooms fried in grass fed butter, loaded with plenty of salt and spices.  2 eggs thrown on top.  This is one of my quick and easy at home lunches.

 A whole pig's worth of pork belly (unprocessed bacon). Pork is definitely not something I would suggest eating this much of if you get it from the grocery store.  This is pastured organic, otherwise pork is typically a very dirty meat. 

 Leftover steamed cod on peas.  With salt and butter of course. 

 -I load herbs and spices on everything.  For fresh ones I like rosemary, cilantro, tarragon, and mint.  Dried I use a lot of of turmeric, cumin, cinnamon, fenugreek, garlic, dill, and oregano.  Seriously, I go hard on the spices.  I used to need to put ranch, teryaki or bbq sauce on everything I ate until I learned to use them.  Have fun with it, just check your expiry dates and please don't ruin your beautiful spices by storing them above the stove, that spot is basically a mold incubator. 

- I also enjoy 1-3 cups of tea per day.  I like green or peurh in the morning, ginger, rooibos, or peppermint anytime, and either kava or chamomile at night.

So there's a few examples anyways, if you find this information interesting or useful, please share!  What else should I blog about?

Feeling so much better! Here's how:

Been a while since I’ve blogged.  I’m certainly in a different space now, it feels great.  To start off, here are a couple of progress pictures.  The surgery was March 11 and as you can see, it kicked my ass pretty hard:

 April 7, 127 pounds

May 11, 140lbs

 Other than the occasional panic attack every couple of weeks, my anxiety is almost completely gone.  Its so liberating to be able to just go out and do things as I please!  No more sick queasy feeling in my chest every time I try leave the house!  Since surgery I've been able to accomplish the following:

-Gained 20lbs
-Finished my exercise nutrition course
-Coached a handful of classes at the gym
-CRP (inflammation marker) down to 8.0 For a reference, the lowest I’ve ever had it since being sick was  47.  0-7 is considered healthy range, so I'm almost there
-Most importantly, I’m enjoying life again!  I’m having so much fun just going for walks to the river, driving home to the acreage, cooking new recipes, and exercising for the pure thrill of it. 

All with the following also happening since the operation:

-blood clot in my right leg
-2 percutaneous drains for massive abdominal abscesses, left for 3 weeks then right for 3 weeks.
-Huge incision over my belly button, without staples.
-1 overnight stay after removal of 1st drain, another night in emerge to get 2nd drain pulled.

One of the drains I lived with:

This didn’t happen all on its own though, I had to facilitate this recovery.  After letting myself rot for the first few weeks, I knew I had to take active steps if I wanted to speed the healing process. I committed to a 30 day exercise program, stuck to an extensive supplement regimen, and I committed to a morning routine consisting of the following:

-Push ups as soon as rolling out of bed.  10 seconds down, 10 seconds up until failure.  At first, I could only do one, by the end of the month I managed 4 or 5.  Anyone can do this!  It took less than 2 minutes out of my day each morning.
-Meditate for 15 minutes.  (I use the app headspace)
-Weigh myself

I sleep with my phone on airplane, and make a point of not turning it on until those 3 things are done.  Same thing goes for the laptop.  I’ve found texts and emails to be an even worse focus sucker when you start your day with them. I use another app called askmeevery , where you can have it ask you anything you want via text and email.  Every morning I get a text asking “how many push ups”, and another asking “how much do you weight.”  This is awesome for accountability, the guilt of typing in that “0” is enough to make you just do the damn push ups.  My other favourite part about the app is that it automatically charts and graphs all your data for you, so you can see your progress in a nice visual.

Side note- those who think weighing in every day is excessive, here is my reasoning why.  We can lose and gain significant amounts of weight even during the course of a single day.  This is due to fluctuating hydration status, how much we eat, and other factors.  A lire of water weights 2.2 pounds, so you can drink/pee that amount without even knowing it.  The amount of carbohydrates stored in the body also influence how much water weight we hold onto. Since this number can change so much without your weight “actually” changing, I like to weigh in at the same time every morning, and then use a weekly average to tell where I’m at.  Also, the scale should not be feared!! Use it as a guide for future decisions, not a judge of past ones!

At night I get 2 more questions, one asking me “what did you eat today”, and one asking “what are you grateful for”.  This is my foolproof way of keeping a food log and gratitude journal.  Writing a food log is a humbling, surprisingly effective way of cleaning up your diet.  There's something about actually writing down “ate liter of cookie dough ice cream” that makes you really, really not want to do it again tomorrow. The gratitude journal is a super effective way of well, simply being happier!

As for diet, I tried eating super clean at first, but that resulted in me just picking at my food and really not eating anything.  Eventually I just started eating whatever the hell I felt I could get down, and my body actually thanked me for it at that point.  2000 cals of ice cream and toast beat the hell out of 400 calories of  healthy food.  So for the first 4 weeks or so I really let myself go diet wise, though I don’t feel guilty about it.  With such a low appetite, having a craving for anything at all was a blessing so I indulged it, whether it was mac n cheese, bread, or ice cream.  I loaded up on that stuff, and I’m not going to lie, it was awesome.  Eventually the novelty wore off though. Weeks 5-present I’ve been doing better by eating much more healthy foods throughout the day.  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still enjoying some nighttime treats once my healthy “checkpoints” have been met for the day. Just because I’m conscious of it doesn’t make it any more acceptable, but its an evolving process.  If I’ve learned anything, its that small changes are the only sustainable ones. I've always found that adding good foods works better than subtracting bad ones.  Eventually the good replaces the bad, and if you eat the right stuff you won't crave the wrong stuff after a while. 

I started my first formal exercise May 11th.  A simple 30 day living room workout.

My reasons for going with this one were that:
-Strength (not silly cardio) training "wakes up" and activates your body into healing mode.  This is why simply having muscles keeps you from aging.
-it features compound movements working major muscle groups
-extremely beginner friendly, can be done anywhere
-simple and effective progressions
-written by a reputable coach (Brett Contreras is awesome)

Since 250 reps seemed a little silly, once I reached day 15 I went back to day 1 but added weight. I really wish I took pictures of my first couple workouts. At the beginning, I was so feeble I had to have stools on either side of me for balance  Keep in mind, for most of this program I had a 4 inch wire jammed in my side near my kidney. By the end, I was completing 150 loaded squats (broken into sets of 10-20) either holding a kettlebell , wall ball, or even an empty barbell.  After completing the 30 days I managed to pull of some real front squats!  May have only been 75lbs, but I felt like superman!

First set of "real" squats @ 75 pounds.  A couple months ago this was unfathomable:

My supplement regimen has been the following:

-1Tbsp high EPA fish oil
- 3-5 grams vitamin C spread throughout the day (for collagen synthesis for my incision)
-2 tbsp hydolyzed collagen protein (Incision repair, this stuff has also helped my arthritis more than any other supplement)
-1 B100 tablet
-800mg folinic acid
-30 000IU vitamin D
-25 000IU vitamin A for 2 weeks, then every other day
-Cannabis oil, in the form of either capsules, food, or blended into tea, totaling 100mg CBD and 400mg THC per day (Most effective medication I have ever used, bye bye prednisone, no more painkillers!) 1:1 CBD to THC is optimal, but I can't quite afford it.   
-2 shakes per day, each containing 7.5grams arginine, 5grams ornithine, and 10 grams glutamine.  This is an effective stack for surgery recovery, but also for healing sports injuries.
-Lots of MCT oil and Avocado oil in smoothies
-Magnesium (glycinate) 400-600mg per day
-Topical magnesium spray, 20 sprays at night.
-15mg zinc (gluconate) and 2mg copper, 2x per day

Of course none of this progress would be possible without the incredible support I have.  I am extremely fortunate to have wonderful friends and family backing me up every single step of the way.  Thanks everyone!

Cheers

Some blogs/pages I reccomend

I thought I'd do a post just to share some of my favorite sites for health and fitness info that I have found personally helpful.

Luke Durward:

Luke is an old pole vaulting rival of mine and a real smart guy!  Earlier this year I had noticed him developing his coaching business online, and reading some of his posts made me realize that accountability was what I was lacking in my pursuit of health.  This inspired me to start my first blog, the 30-ish day challenge which really made a difference in my life and sort of started this whole mission to cure myself without surgery.  Luke has a great website that I would reccomend to anyone, and even has his own Ted talk!  He's kind of a big deal....check it out:

Also check out his website at http://lukedurward.com/

Shannon Richards/Infinite Zenergy:

Shannon is a health coaching friend of mine.  We met through the gym I work at, Freedom Functional Fitness.  When I learned that she suffers with ulcerative colitis and found her own way to health the natural way, I was compelled to connect with here.  Shannon and I are a couple of food nerds, and love bouncing ideas off of eachother.  She is a creative genius in the kitchen!  All of her recipes are crazy healthy and delicious.  Shannon helped me realize the power and importance of journaling, and has been a great support through this all.

You can find her website at http://infinitezenergy.org/blog/  and check out her facebook page as well
https://www.facebook.com/infinitezenergy?ref=br_tf   .

Precision Nutrition:
I like this page because it has research and evidence-based information, translated into language that we can all understand.  I usually just skim the blog for stuff that jumps out at me. Follow them on Facebook or Twitter, there is a wealth of resources on their actual web page as well. 

The Bulletproof Executive:
This is the website of the guy who started the butter coffee trend.  The coffee thing is definitely his hook, but there is a lot more to what he calls the "bulletproof" lifestyle.  I linked the page that has information on the Bulletproof diet.  What I find interesting is that his motivation for finding the optimal diet wasn't for body composition, athletics, or even to cure a disease, but for optimal brain performance as a CEO.  After spending thousands and doing a TON of research over many years, what he came up with resembles the paleo diet, but with some interesting tweaks.  The podcasts are my favorite, he gets some awesome guests with very informative content. 


There are lots of other sites I frequent but these are my favorites and that's all the writing I feel up to for now.  This was mostly about diet, next will be my favorite exercise/training pages.